11.21.17

I mean, I like you, Dad.

I’m running a little behind.  

I was falling asleep on the train on the way home.  Then I was slumping over, falling asleep at dinner.  Finally, I really did fall asleep, thankfully, in bed.  

This big boy was tuckered out by Disneyland.

We started a little later this morning, not looking to hit the gates right when they opened.  The girls climbed into bed with us and then S fled to their bed(s), leaving me with two starfish shaped children.  

I started getting ready and the rest followed me like bed-headed tiny zombies, dragging on their clothes (which we later found out should have been supervised) and asking for French TV.  H1 sat so mesmerized by French language cartoons that she leaned against the bed sans pants until we waved our hands in front of her face repeatedly and told her to get your pants on!  To which she replied oh yeah…

Cartoons off and an hour and half later, we were ready to go eat.  Bread plates for the girls, omelettes for the adults.  Two things are hard to get here, a steak that is not pink and eggs that are not runny.  Poor S has faced these realities like a champ, and took down both over the course of the day.  If you don’t like your eggs still wet.  Not moist.  WET.  Don’t order eggs here.  

H2 has been struggling with no front teeth and a wiggly lower tooth.  Baguettes, even croissants are defeating her, so S ends up scraping out the soft bread for her, leaving these bread shells that I pick up very hopefully, only to turn them over to find only crust.  

I butter them and eat them anyways.

Down in the men’s room, I found another cool bathroom trick the French have developed.  Put a mirror alongside the urinals so that you can see what EVERYONE is doing while you go pee pee.  Not above.  To the side of the urinals.  GENIUS.  

KEY MOMENT:  I went down to the toilets at this cafe for the first time today.  The first time we went here, the girls kept saying they went to the bathroom behind a door that said E and the others said H (hommes) and F (femmes).  They insisted that the toilet had no lever to flush and that they looked everywhere for one.  We couldn’t figure out what E was but hadn’t been down there to see.  Until today.  I opened the door and saw...a bidet.  The girls peed in a bidet.  I double checked that no one had pooped - they assured me they hadn’t, but loved the idea of someone having to hand remove their poop.  

We head to residential area trains to catch today, the RER.  A stop is right next to our hotel and the Luxembourg, so we headed down to find our train.  Our first train was a boring one level, but the second, it was a double decker train, and H2 began leaping for joy shouting that it was indeed a double decker train!  If you remember from previous episodes, H2’s only reason for going to London was a double decker bus, so this was a big deal for her.  

KEY MOMENT: On the train, H1 looks at her mom and then asks Mama, how come everyone likes you and no one really likes Dad?  I’m just asking (eyes wide and hands held up in her defense) I mean, I like you, Dad (highly expressive eyes towards me).  I don’t know what else to say here, but I will point out that S did not negate this statement.  She sort of just shrugged her shoulders and welllllll…...

It was about an hour total catching trains to arriving at the gates to Disneyland.  The train literally drops you off at the front gates - imagine that - Disney setting up a public service that somehow works out perfectly for them.  Weird.  And convenient.  

The girls were high kicking and leaping for joy at this point, hugging each other, and running ahead to catch a glimpse.  

Most of the crowd were families with kids about the same age, and this might sound like heresy, but after not seeing other families and kids, it was nice to see other people yell at their kids.  My favorite was the Yorkshire dad telling his crazy boys to SHUD OP.  

The park is basically the OG Disneyland in terms of rides, laid out almost the same (no Toontown, thankfully).  H2 had to ride Dumbo first, so we hopped on that - in 10 minutes.  The most we waited was a bit longer than 20 minutes for Big Thunder.  Most rides allowed you to walk all the way up to the turnstile before waiting.  It was incredible.  The girls did their first big roller coaster (S and G barely made it), their first spooky ride (Pirates), and almost made their mom and dad hurl (Orbitron).  

It was great to do something just for them in a place that was just for them where we didn’t have to tell them don’t touch that don’t climb on that don’t run there do you have to do a high kick that close to me while I am trying to tie a shoe.  And that fact that there were no lines and no crowd to speak of, it was the best possible Disneyland day.  

We split during the fireworks (at 7pm!  Does our D-land close so early?), and headed for the train, beating most of the crowd to the train back to Paris and sitting in an empty car which filled as we got closer to Paris.  H1 took to counting the men and women, noticing that it was mostly men for most of the journey and trying to speculate as to why.  As we got close to Paris though, the number evened out and she seemed a lot happier about that.  

I just tried not to fall out of my seat as my eyes dragged themselves shut like I was back in Astronomy 101.  

Le Rostand for dinner, our neighborhood cafe, and we had a great dinner looking at Roxanne the cat and missing Cathy back home, drawing animal pictures in our notebooks, and trying to get H1 to not suck down her whole coke in 3.5 seconds or less.  

S did a great job eating only the outside of a steak.  H1 ate a fried potato that wasn’t in the shape of a French fry for the first time, H2 tried this very unpleasant looking but tasty terrine, and I made sure to eat more bread.  

We walked two streets and were back in the warm embrace of our beds.  The girls spooked by Pirates, climbed into bed together, and after much whispering, fell asleep cuddled together.